Women do not know how to pick men. They pick the man of their dreams. Then they try to make McDreamy come alive in their reality. The reality is that it is estimated that 95% of women want to date the top 5% of men. Stop dreaming. Meanwhile men are willing to date darn near anybody who can twerk it right. So when you see a happily married couple and the wife is busted but the brother is a pretty boy, light-skindid with brown eyes, a brother that would be in your top 5%. Don’t say how did she get him? It wasn’t her. It was him doing something that you will never do. He relaxed his visual requirement a bit so that he could find some one that he thought he could build a strong marriage with.
Now I am not saying settle. I am suggesting that you date on your level. Find your level, date there. You are not perfect, neither will he be. Having the most money, has nothing to do with how successful one is in marriage. Anybody can make money. Go get your own money. Tall men sometimes make short kids. Pretty boys can’t fight and I have seen some ugly light-skindid babies. It is time for women to start looking at the CORE of a man. Look at what is inside of a man. His morals, his ethics, his judgment, his spirit. Stop looking at him or at his wallet or at his house or at his car and look in him. This is what you are looking for:
10. Look for a man that knows how to be “The Man”
This maybe a tad bit more difficult for some who don’t have the strong Father figure but I allow no excuses. If you don’t have a Father figure you know that right now, you have known that for some time. Go find out what a man is before you get into a bad relationship. Take some responsibility. (You know what, just keep reading this article. This article shall meet your educational credit. Pop Quiz to come.) Example #1: Your car breaks down, he shows no concern, he does not offer to help. You bounce. Even the mechanically challenged man knows that the car is the man’s responsibility. A man that is the biggest ho on earth still knows that as a man he is in charge of safety. And I don’t care what level of dating you are on. If ya’ll just met tonight and your car breaks down leaving the club and you call him and he don’t show in prove, bounce. Example #2: You bring your man home for the holidays. Dinner is ready, you and momma are moving the other table from the living room into the dining room so every body can eat in one room. You and momma pick up a set of chairs and a table and carry it across the room in front of your man setting on the couch maxing and relaxing. He don’t move, he don’t eat. Food, you, nothing, it’s a wrap.
9. Look for a man that is looking for a woman
Not a skeezer, not a trick, not a ho. If he tries to hit it on the first date either he is not looking for a woman or he doesn’t think that you are one. If you want a relationship, don’t settle for dating, just be friends. Being friends with a man first and maintaining your respect will get you to a relationship a lot faster than the occasional sex you give up waiting for a title. (I think that I have properly set the tone now. Let’s continue.)
8. Look for a man that is not broken.
I didn’t say broke. I said broken, meaning, his spirit, his wallet and his heart. If he don’t have faith in GOD to get him back on his feet, if he don’t have a plan to fix his wallet and he is emotionally unstable (“Men Don’t Heal, We Ho” – A Book About the Emotional Instability in Men. Available now on an internet near you –
) beat-your-feet. He can’t take care of you if he can’t take care of himself. I didn’t say broke, got to tell ya’ll twice sometimes. A man being broke is not an excuse for not giving a man a shot. Money can be made. It comes and it goes. The problem with a lot of you ladies is that you are so busy looking at a brother’s pocket that you miss the potential in him. He could be about to “GET MONEY”. Broke brothers stand up! I’ve been broke before, look at me now! LOOK . . . AT . . . ME . . . NOW!!!!!
Evaluate the man. An evaluation is about where he was yesterday, where he is today and where he will be tomorrow. Whenever I meet a sistah that is dating a brother that is broke the first question I ask her is, “Do you believe in him?” The second question I ask her is, “Did he have money and lost it some way?” The third question is, . . . look, you saw the shameless plug, get the book.
7. Look for a Mailman.
That Mailman thingy is a play on words. I am nice with these words. The reference to mailman here is in regards to a man that can deliver the required message to his family. Whether this message needs to be a positive message or a negative message. So when my wife came home and said that she had been laid off that day, I said “We will be fine, I hated that job for you anyway. Dang job stressing my baby out.” What I really wanted to say was “Do you have anything that we can sell or pawn?”
When my wife came home and said, “We are expecting.” I had news too, bad news. I had been laid off that day. Again, I told her, “We will be fine.” I deliver the mail baby! Word is bond son!
Sadly I must report that the words, “We can’t afford that.” Are quite popular at my house. But there are enough times where the words “WOW! Thank you!” are also uttered. Look for a man that can be responsible for maintaining a financial balance in the home. If I tell my wife that “I ain’t got it,” I know in advance that she was about to ask for it and my plan is already in motion on how to get it for here. She knows that.
6. Look for a man that knows how to handle a woman
Ya’ll get out of line sometime with that mouf and that lose neck. Find that man that is not going to take the bait. The one that is not going to argue with you every time you want to argue. The one that can calmly say to you “Baby, when you are ready to have a conversation about your concern holla at your man.” Look for a strong brother that can put you in your place. (This means that you have to know your place – “10 Ways to go from Girlfriend to Wife.”) Don’t give me the, “I can’t find a brother like that.” There are brothers out there like this, he just may not be in your Top 5% and if you can’t find one, that means that you mustn’t be in the Top 5% either. (Let me just re-set the tone.)
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