What up! I get it, sometimes questions like these are hard to ask parents and adults in general. But that doesn’t mean you should keep them in either. Better to know then not and make decisions that you might regret you know! I hope you continue to find insight with my posts and please, feel free to leave me topics/concerns you would like to have me post as well! – RoDigga
How can I know when I’m ready?
There are many important things to consider when deciding whether you’re ready for sex, including
- your personal values and goals
- your feelings about the kinds of emotional and physical risks you are willing to take
- whether this is something you really want to do or if it’s something your partner is pushing you into
- what sort of relationship you want to have with the person you have sex with
How do my personal values and goals fit in?
When it comes to making decisions about sex, answer these questions about what you value:
- What messages have you gotten from your family about sex?
- What are your religious, spiritual, or moral views on sex?
- Do you want to be in a committed relationship before you have sex?
If having sex supports your personal values and goals — rather than conflicts with them — you may be ready.
Having sex with a partner can be a meaningful way to express yourself. But there are two important physical risks — sexually transmitted infection and unintended pregnancy.
Ask yourself these questions about the risks:
- Do I know how to reduce the risk of infection with safer sex?
- Do I have condoms — and know how to use them?
- Do I know how to prevent pregnancy?
- Do I have reliable birth control and know how to use it?
- Do I know how I would handle an infection or unintended pregnancy?
- Do I know how my partner would feel about an unintended pregnancy?
- Will I go for checkups for sexually transmitted infections every year and whenever I take risks?
- Have I discussed these issues with my partner?
If you’re willing and able to protect yourself and your partner from physical risks, you may be ready.
Are most people my age having sex?
It may seem as though everyone your age is having sex. This can make you feel that you should, too. But the truth is that only about half of high school students have ever had intercourse and the average age when people start having sex is about age 17. Even once they start having sex, most teens don’t have sex frequently.
How do you feel about these reasons for having sex?
- I feel like the only “virgin” in my group of friends.
- I want to just “get it over with.”
- My partner will break up with me if I don’t have sex.
- Having sex will make me popular.
- I’ll feel more mature if I have sex.
If you think these are good reasons to have sex, you’re not ready.
Get more on the these questions below:
Am I ready to be clear about what I want?
What do I want from our relationship?
If I decide to have sex, are there any guidelines?