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As soon as we get a man ladies we want to make it official by announcing our new relationship to the world or at least confirm it on Facebook! But why does his status still say ‘Single’? Check out some some reasons why( from a man’s perpective) below:

It’s not that easy.

There’s a classic scene from the movie, The Social Network, in which Facebook co-founder, Eduardo Saverin faces the wrath of his girlfriend for not updating his online relationship status. His excuse: he couldn’t figure out how to change it. Now, if the guy that helped create Facebook can’t figure it out, then that certainly can’t bode well for the rest of us guys, right?

The fact is, these things aren’t always easy to change. Social networking sites are all set-up slightly different, and what might be a breeze to change on one portal, might be much more involved on another. For every single profile item that’s a breeze to change on Facebook, there’s another three items that are as frustrating-as-heck to figure out. I’m still having time getting my city network to work correctly after moving several times. My point being, not everyone is at the same skill level when it comes to the Internet. (I still know people who still haven’t figured out Google).

It is worth mentioning that if he signed up to Facebook while in a relationship with you, but is listed as single, then it definitely warrants a casual conversation about it, or possibly how he defines the word ‘Single’ – especially since Facebook has the delightfully nebulous “In a relationship” status setting that would be more appropriate.

It was overlooked.

How many times have you logged into Facebook to simply check your news feed or messages, but end up planting rows of corn in FarmVille and commenting on your pal’s quiz about which Muppet character she most resembles? It happens. A lot. For some people, profiles are one of those things that they update when they sign up, and hardly ever touch again. If your man isn’t the kind of guy who’s really engaged in social networking, then it might just be that he forgot, or just isn’t as savvy when it comes to decking out a profile page. It might be that you consider social networking an extension of your real-life networking, whereas he considers it more about just goofing around on the Internet.

Luckily, my wife never got into Friendster or MySpace. I signed-up for both of those sites years ago, back in the height of their popularity. I haven’t been back since. In those online worlds, I’m most likely still perpetually single, much skinnier, and my profile picture has me riding a moped down the Vegas strip. It’s not that I don’t want to be listed as married there, it’s just that I’d rather not be bothered to go do it.  


It’s embarrassing or annoying.


You know how it goes. You have a married friend who was late to the social networking game and – after much petitioning – she finally signed up for Facebook. Months later, she noticed that she was missing a profile pic and was still listed as ‘single’. So she changed her status, and what was the reaction afterwards? At least a dozen of her friends left silly little messages in her feed, like, “Ha ha! Does (your husband) know?!” or “Hey! You didn’t invite us to the wedding!” It seems to be a goofy thing that always happens when people change their status. Now just image the silly comments that your guy is dreading from several of his uncouth friends. “She finally made an honest man out of you!”

If he’s uncomfortable about being teased or prodded about his personal life, that can likely spill over into the online world. If you know in your heart that he loves you, then just give him some space and when you do encourage him to change his status, keep it fun and playful. 


It’s just too soon.


In today’s online world, changing your relationship status is akin to the sometimes dreaded PDAs (public displays of affection), except that online everything happens faster. I’ve seen people go from ‘Single’ to ‘In a relationship’ to ‘It’s complicated’ and then back to ‘Single’ in just a few sessions. You don’t want to be that person, and neither does he.

If you just started dating, then don’t expect him to be changing his status until things get much more serious. You might even make him uncomfortable by updating your status too early.

Best advice: If you both feel comfortable calling each other “boyfriend & girlfriend” then your status can safely be updated to “In a relationship.”

Making the Switch

Chances are the situation is less, He’s not that into you”, but more like, “He’s just not as into Facebook as much as you.”

If his unchanged status is really getting under you skin, then I have a suggestion. Wait until you’re both in the same room when he’s on Facebook (a cleverly placed laptop, logged into the site might help further the situation), and then joking say, “Hey, sweetie! Now is a perfect time to change your relationship status!” It’ll give you an opportunity to guide him through the process, if he doesn’t know how.

Of course, if he resolutely declines to update it, then this might raise some red flags about your relationship, or at the very least his comfort level with sharing personal information online. Like most things, it’s all about communication. Let him know your honest feelings about it, but also try to listen to his reasons for not making the switch right away. Watkins, The GalTime Guy

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