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ESPN The Magazineruns a regular feature called Player X, in which a current athlete writes anonymously on a pressing issue affecting his sport. A couple of issues ago, the mystery NBA player tackled the topic of infidelity among pro athletes. What ran in the magazine was polished, snappy…and unenlightening. But we have the original draft Player X composed, before the editing process sanitized it completely. The draft sheds a lot of light on what athletes are really going through, and how unpublishable the experience is.

(If you don’t have Insider, it’s been reproduced here) These two pages represent the unedited, uncensored version that Player X submitted to ESPN. Because what was taken out is far more interesting then what was added (mostly turns of phrase), we’ve indicated those ideas and words that ESPN deemed unsuitable by striking them through.

READ MORE: Deadspin