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You would think that it was Pippa Middleton – not her sister Kate – who walked down the aisle with Prince William this summer judging from the way the media has honed in on her. But what’s even odder than the supplanting of her in the tabloids instead of her future queen sister is the fascination with her butt. This butt:

Ma’am and/or sir, why is this a thing of wonder? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not throwing shade. Pippa is an attractive and shapely woman (very slim, but with a nice frame). But she isn’t carrying anything in her ‘backyard’ that is such a wonder to behold.

Why is there such a fascination with non-Black women who have butts? Back when we were the only ones known for having large bottoms, they were the worst thing ever. But in the past ten years, it seems like everyone wants to be bootylicious. And women like Pippa are being held up as some sort of gold standard when her butt is more worthy of a participant ribbon.

To paraphrase Paul Mooney, “everybody wanna be a Negro, but don’t nobody want to be a Negro.” However, considering the fact that Pippa’s butt is more on the flat side than the J.Los and Kim Kardashians of the world, perhaps praising her behind is a shift away from the big booty obsession. Is the Pippa-pimping a return to the rejection of the more voluptuous (and typically considered to be “ethnic”) body type? I think that’s a more than likely possibility.

Our “royals” are a family of Black folks from the South Side of Chicago. And even though President Obama has a unique pedigree, the woman by his side is an undeniably Colored one. Brown skin, Black girl hair, big booty. For all those who have celebrated the victory-in-diversity that is an Obama White House, there are folks who want to get that ‘old thing’ back. And Pippa is undeniably uncolored. Hmm…am I just a conspiracy theorist, or do you see the connection here?

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