Ah, the Apocalypse. Still alive, eh? The earth is still rotating?
It is officially the day after the world was supposed to end. The hell made you think the world was going to end?? There are too many uncovered secrets in the world for it all to end! Think about it, why are LL Cool J’s lips never ashy, even though all he does is lick them?
We must make it our goal to figure these things out before the world ends. So….
The Word Eye Heard Presents: Top 5 Reasons the World Didn’t End
5. “Last Friday” Hasn’t Come Out Yet
You’re out of your mind if you think the end is near, and there hasn’t been one commercial for the premiere of “Last Friday. I don’t care what Mike Epps says, it’s gotta happen! Don’t you wanna see Smokey get out of rehab, meet up with Day-Day and get in all kinds of trouble with Craig? Money Mike won’t be there, for obvious reasons…..but the rest of the cast has to!
The world didn’t end yet, because Craig and Smokey have to smoke one more joint before it’s over.
4. Katt Williams Hasn’t Gotten His Ass Beat Yet
This washed up comedian has been out here thugging as of late, and seems to face no repercussions. Who else do you know who can smack a Target employee in the middle of the store, on camera……and walk away unscathed? Bet he wouldn’t have tried that ish at Popeye’s.
Who else do you know who walks up to a man in a room full of people, and smacks a man with a microphone?? Then, to solidify his gangsta, gets back on stage and says anyone can catch the fade!
What the phuck is wrong with these people?? Katt Williams is 2 foot fifteen, about 19 1/2 pounds. You gone let Emmanuel Lewis kick your ass?
The world didn’t end, because someone has to wake up and realize that no one crackhead should have that much power.
3. Stevie Wonder Still Has Braids
Do you really think the world is going to end before someone grows balls big enough to make Stevie Wonder place his hand on top of his head so he can realize his hairline starts at his neck?? No!
Look at the picture above; Stevie Wonder’s hairline STARTS at his ear. That’s not the problem. The problem is that his braids still hang to his ass. He can’t borrow some of the hanging hair and put it on the front? I’m sure he could, if you would TELL HIM his head looks like a bowling ball with spaghetti hanging off!
If he’s facing the front, he looks bald!
Please refer to: #WordEyeHeard Presents: Top 5 Women Who Should Go Natural
Even Lebron got his hair fixed…
The world didn’t end because we have a long way to come as a people, if we can’t be honest with our heroes. Cut that shit off your head and donate it to a Jamaican sew-in bag.
2. We Don’t Know What Jermaine Jackson Puts in his Hair
If Jesus comes for me tomorrow and asks me if I have anything to say before it’s over, I’m going to ask him to please tell me what Jermaine Jackson puts in his hair. Is it tar? Shoe polish? Leather? Jermaine Jackson couldn’t stand being a side sibling, so he made sure he was known for something.
Jermaine made it his goal to be famous after Michael died, but nobody cared about his life, those kids, or his ex-wife who’s also his sister-in-law. We just want to know, for the love of all things holy, WHAT THE HELL IS IN YOUR HAIR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
The world didn’t end yet, because we will not leave this earth without beating an answer out of Jermaine Jackson. It’s bad enough MJ died and we have to deal with him; he better come off of it!
1. #WordEyeHeard TV Sketch Comedy Show Premieres 1.1.13!
On January 16th, 2011, I started making funny entertainment news videos, called the Word Eye Ent Report. I was promoting a website that was “coming soon” for a year. On January 16, 2012, I launched my website, TheWordEyeHeard.com. And now, on January 1, 2013, I’m premiering #WordEyeHeard TV Sketch Comedy Show. These will be bi-weekly webisodes featuring hilarious sketches starring myself, comedian B Tidy, comedian Rob Ward, and whoever else is funny.
So you see, the world didn’t end, because I have a lot more work to do in 2013! See you then!
via TheWordEyeHeard
Check out lilD’s #WordEyeHeard Radio Sat 9am-12/Sun 10am-2!
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