Yes, that’s a picture of Kim K with braids. Okay, let’s move on.
There was a time when cornrows were cool. That time has passed. But some artists just refuse to get rid of them. Where are their careers at?
Pusha T isn’t platinum. Allen Iverson is broke. Who else has braids….? Don’t get me started….
We here at The Word Eye Heard believe there’s a direct correlation between getting rid of cornrows and the level of success attainable.
Don’t believe me?
Top 5 Artists Better Without Braids
5. Jim Jones
This seriously writes itself. Even if you liked Jimmy’s music, who wanted to look at those nappy thangs on the top of his head?? Jim Jones is the only person you know who has “good hair,” but has nappy cornrows! His fiance Chrissy couldn’t have been okay with that.
Can you imagine him proposing to her on national television with those braids??? There probably would’ve been pieces of hair all in the engagement ring box!
Jim Jones is better without braids because he went from looking like a felon, to starring in 2 reality tv shows and being relevant again. And halfway attractive. You go boy. Brush that hair.
Ludacris was always the man, since he came on the scene with “What’s Your Fantasy.” His wide and crazy side came out when he let the fro hang loose. But…with braids, Luda knew nobody would ever take him seriously. So he cut them and released the critically acclaimed “Reality Check.” And he’s sexier than he’s ever been.
Luda is better without braids because with cornrows, he had a 30 second cameo in “The Wash,” and with a fade, he’s starring in yet ANOTHER “Fast and Furious” movie.
Seriously. Omarion used to look like Alicia Keys. Do I even have to write this?
Omarion went from the lead singer of
Chris Stokes’ Play Things B2K, did that corny “You Got Served” movie, then went solo. Now don’t get me wrong, O was doing his thing. But would you, a grown woman, have given him the butt with those braids? And those BABY HAIRS?!?!
Now look at him. He’s made a comeback, cussing, sounding great, and being a grown man. Minus calling himself “Maybach O,” I’d say the young man is doing pretty well.
Yes, Omarion could get it now.
(Disregard the above statement if his baby hairs ever make an appearance again.)
Omarion is better with braids, because for the first time in his career, we are certain he doesn’t have a vagina.
2. Trey Songz
Trey Songz’ best album was his debut, I Just Gotta Make It. At least to me. His follow-up, Trey Day, was very dope too! And both were with cornrows. But something amazing happened when Trey cut those braids off: he started winning.
Trey recently got his first #1 album with Passion, Pain, and Pleasure, he went on tour with Jay-Z and Jeezy, had a reality tv show, and a role in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
And he obviously has that bread. He’s paying $35K a month on his new Hollywood home…that’s he’s RENTING.
Trey Songz is better without braids because instead of investing money in a hair-braider, he was able to spend it on album features. And it paid off.
1. Lil Wayne
Okay, so he didn’t go from braids to a fade, but still…those braids are gone. As a Louisiana resident, I’ve always loved Lil Wayne, even with those braids. “Tha Block is Hot” was one of the dopest songs from Cash Money in that era. But….we all know Tha Carter is the album that put Wayne on the map. Look at that hair: braids are gone.
And didn’t he win a Grammy for Tha Carter III? Can you think of any artists with cornrows who have Grammy’s? (R. Kelly doesn’t count; he pees on children.)
Now Wayne has clearly been on some craziness lately, with the stay in the hospital, his obvious arrogance, and overall bad fashion choices. But regardless of how crazy he may seem, Lil Wayne got rid of those braids and signed Drake and Nicki Minaj to Young Money.
You know how rich Lil Wayne is just off of those two alone???
Lil Wayne is better without braids because someone besides his first baby mama finally found him attractive enough to have unprotected sex with.
I’m lilD, and that’s the Word Eye Heard. Can someone please read this to Stevie Wonder?