Smart black women have come to grips with reality.
An elementary understanding of the law of supply and demand tells you there simply aren’t enough black men for every woman, good or bad. And, the handful of “good” brothers don’t exclusively date black. Despite the number of us clinging to this one-sided fight for black love, others see the light and have started dating white…red, brown, yellow, etc. Tired of watching their girlfriends blindly walk past Banker Bob (yes, middle class white men are the segment of their population marrying black women) to compete with countless other educated, attractive women for the attention of some haughty, Audi A5-driving, Howard-bred corporate law attorney who only likes light-skinned girls, rain-beau daters are spreading the word.
The focus merely appears to be placed on white men for two reasons: It’s most taboo and white men and black women statistically date outside of their races least. So, it stands out when they date out—especially each other. Of course a history of slavery, rape and abuse are reasons for a subconscious sour taste but, in 2011, the landscape is much different. Much like black men looked past the lynching, disfigurement and deaths of young boys like Emmett Till for flirting with white women, many black women have found the capacity to look beyond past (and some present) ignorance. There is nothing taboo about dating anyone of any race. All that matters is that he is a man of strong character who you can see yourself boning.
For black men who want to have their cake and eat it too, this form of shared enlightenment translates as obsession when it’s really quite the opposite considering an overwhelming majority of black women prefer black men. Equal-opportunity dating means women are no longer reliant on the affection of a relatively small pool of men and, with increased options, higher standards are easier to maintain.
In no way are black women the slightest bit obsessed with white men. Some are just focused on enjoying the goodness that can be found in all races.
LaShaun Williams is a lifestyle and relationship columnist, blogger and social critic. Her work has been featured on popular urban sites, such as The Grio and AOL Black Voices. She has made appearances on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Santita Jackson Show. Williams is also the voice behind Politically Unapologetic, a blog where she unabashedly discusses culture, life and love. Follow @itsmelashaun on Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook.