Today is the day! Valentine’s Day signifies love, relationships, and happiness. But….if you don’t get those roses, that phone call, or that time today….then today is the day you realize the obvious: You’re the side piece.
Below are prime examples of those men and women who sit on the sidelines for their significant others while that person spends V-Day with the person who really matters.
#WordEyeHeard Presents: Top 5 Side Pieces
If you watch “Love and Hip Hop,” then you know Joe Budden is dating a pretty young thang (and I do mean YOUNG) named Kaylin. She doesn’t talk much, kinda like Amber Rose when she was with Kanye West. But she’s so insignificant, she doesn’t even get to be on the opening credits. I mean, c’mon, Raqi Thunda got to be on the opening credits….
The bigger story on LAHH is Tahiry and her obvious feelings for Joe Budden. She’s cooking for him, shaking tables out of anger, showing up to his house with his mama…..that girl is in love.
And Joe is okay with that.
We all know Joe and is still banging Tahiry, and Kaylin probably knows it too.
Kaylin, you are the side piece, because you were born in the 90′s. And while you’re playing with power rangers and getting your teeth fixed, Joe will be somewhere sniffing Tahiry’s butt.
And I saw the previews for the next episode of Love and Hip Hop, and Tahiry beats your ass.
Enjoy your day.
Now I know what you’re thinking: Oprah is dating Steadman; how can he be a side piece? Well, lemme tell you…
Have you ever dated someone for 20 years with no intention of marrying them or procreating with them…?
I heard Steadman lived in the guest house!
And what about Oprah saying she’s glad they never got married, because there are “expectations” with marriage??
Here’s what she meant:
If she and Steadman would have gotten married, he would’ve expected her to stay faithful, and cut off all romantic relations with her one true love…
Steadman, you are the side piece, because you are a successful, used-to-be-attractive man who’s had a girlfriend for 20 years…and your girl got a girlfriend.
I’ll get you some lotion for tonight.
If you’re not familiar, Mimi Faust is the girlfriend and baby mama of used-to-be-producer Stevie J. Since he stopped being relevant in the music industry, Stevie has been in a love triangle with Mimi and Joseline Hernandez.
He claims Joseline is his “artist,” but if you watch Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, you saw Joseline pee on a pregnancy test stick and say the only man she’s been sleeping with is Stevie.
Stevie J and Joseline spent the rest of season 1 sleeping with each other, fighting, and making up…while Mimi was raising her and Stevie’s child, living in denial, and crying over a dude who apparently had no car.
Even when the show ended, Mimi claimed her relationship with Stevie was over, but we all know that was a lie. Stevie is still going all around the country, hosting parties with Joseline and talking about their love for one another.
Mimi, you’re the side piece, because…first off, you’ve been with Stevie J for 15 years. And secondly, you let him have sex with a woman whose sexuality is questionable on television for the world to see.
Don’t worry; you’re daughter can be your Valentine.
Poor lil Tink Tink….
Karrueche is the model-turned-designer ex-girlfriend of Chris Brown, who is back with Rihanna. This poor girl was in the right place at the wrong time, and dated Chris, and probably thought it would last.
Welp, who really saw Rihanna going back to Breezy after that beating he put on her…and all the men she let beat it up…?
But it was inevitable: those two can’t stay away from each other. Chris was clearly seeing both women at the same time, and lil Karrueche was sticking with him…until he made avideo breaking up with her.
A video, dawg…? That’s cold.
Since Chris has been back with Rihanna, Karrueche has become the punching bag of twitter jokes, funny pictures, and fake pages.
But she’s focused on her clothing line, The Kill. You know, the one she started with Chris Brown…?
Wait, so Chris still has to work with the woman he was sleeping with, while sleeping with another woman…?
FLAG ON THE PLAY…..
RIHANNA, YOU’RE THE SIDE PIECE, because you went back to Stevie J’s R&B equivalent, and announced it loud and proud, like he’s gonna be faithful to you.
Play your part, Karate. Or whatever your name is.
The leader of all side pieces is cornbread-eating, barefoot-singing, Aretha-Franklin-jacking Fantasia Barrino.
This heffa went from not being able to read (just the big words), to winning American Idol, selling a bunch of records, and finally having financial freedom.
All she was missing was a man in her life. She and Young Dro didn’t work out (thank goodness; they would’ve made an ugly baby), so what was lil Tasia gonna do…?
She found love in a Verizon Wireless sales associate, Antwaun Cook. He was nice looking, and seemed to really be into her.
She paid for lavish vacations and all kinds of stuff! (You know HE ain’t got no money…)
But then…the truth came out…this fool was MARRIED!!
I mean, a whole wife and son!!!
Oh it was definitely time to kick him to the curb! He claimed they were separated, but she said differently.
So what did Fantasia do?
Oh he was at the baby shower. That’s her boo.
So what was the end result?
Fantasia, you are the ultimate side piece, because you tried to take a woman’s husband, and he took you for your money, your vagina, and your respect.
Life is not a fairy tale.
Happy Valentine’s Day!