The 20 Most Important Twerks Of All Time
Twerking: “to work one’s body, as in dancing, especially the rear end.” It is the most groundbreaking dance of the last 200 years, and here are the best.
1. The McDonald’s Twerk:
A particularly important twerk, as some have argued that this is the twerk “that started it all.” With stomachs full of McChickens and booties eager to be popped, these brave young women stepped outside McDonalds and into the pantheon of legends.
2. The Hydraulic Twerk:
From there twerking began to grow in popularity, being used by many for more than a way to pop a booty. Here you can see a practical application of the twerk, helping to repair this busted car.
3. The Miley Cyrus Twerk:
A huge twerk. Massive twerk. This is what really brought the twerk into the mainstream, into our homes, our living rooms. Miley didn’t plan the seed, but damned if she didn’t nurture that seed like it was one of her three children.
4. The “This Twerk Was Filmed In Front Of A Live Studio Audience” Twerk:
After Miley, one of our nation’s best and brightest actresses, endorsed the twerk, studios in Los Angeles frantically added CGI twerking to their summer blockbusters.
5. The Mini Cooper Twerk:
The first twerk ad. Some twerk purists cried foul at exploitation of the art form, but others simply saw it for what it was: a smart, well-executed ad.
6. The JC Penny Twerk:
Department stores would follow the Coops lead, allowing folks to twerk up and down the aisles, in the dressing rooms, and about the store. The children’s section, however, would remain off limits. That was until…
7. The Barney and Dora Twerk Combo:
Perhaps the most controversial twerk in histwerky (I tried). This twerk brought the dance into the homes of children of all ages, leading to a boom in babies named “Twerk.”
8. The Squidward Twerk:
Again, see above.
9. The Surprised Patrick Twerk:
Again.
10. The “That’s So Raven” Twerk:
When the Disney Channel gets on board, you know shit is serious. That’s the reason the Iraq war started.
11. The Jurassic Park Twerk:
Twerks began to find themselves the main plot point of big budget blockbusters, too.
12. The Kid Pageant Twerk:
An example of what I talked about above. This is pretty much the norm in classrooms across America. Trust me, I’m 8 years old.
13. The Spiderman Twerk:
Last year’s most popular Halloween costume. Of course, only the rich kids could afford the gyrating ass. Poor kids had to settle for much less, their mother’s following them around and twerking them around.
14. The Harry Potter Twerk:
No one read before “Harry Potter.” It’s just a fact. Literally no one had ever picked up a book. That was until this young lady here twerked in front of a sign, and JK Rowling got the idea for the entire series.
15. The Marine Twerk:
Despite the best efforts of some particularly unrachet members of congress, United States soldiers abroad and at home are now allowed to twerk whenever and wherever they want. Another example of the immense popularity of the movement.
16. The Kitten Twerk:
“Like Humans Do.” That was the title of some David Byrne song that came pre-loaded on every Windows XP. I never listened to it, but I assume it has something to do with kittens twerking like humans?
17. The Ladybug Twerk:
Like humans do, you know?
18. The Sink Twerk:
Devastating for the world of twerk. This brought a lot of heat to the movement, and forced the whole thing to go underground.
19. The Library Twerk:
Which leads us to the library twerk. This is some real, indie, underground twerking.
20. The Panera Twerk:
And so that brings us to the Panera twerk. The most important twerk of all time. This is it. Faced with the pressure of somehow disguising themselves among a sea of twerks, and fighting the growing animosity towards the art form, this young lady nails it. NAILS IT. This is what twerking is all about.
The 20 Most Important Twerks Of All Time was originally published on mycolumbuspower.com
