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The Past

Fundamentally, a person is comprised of things that they have said, seen, and done. So, when a person takes to being untruthful about their personal history, it’s a bit more serious than lying about liking Pepsi more than Coca-Cola. The things that a person has witnessed and experienced: deaths, births, school, imprisonment, marriage, and various milestone, are important to share and to be honest about. These collective factors contribute to the type of relationships that they will have or maintain.

Income & Job

Things are hard all ‘round, so while most people aren’t really searching the market for an unemployed partner, most folks aren’t in the position to judge you for being underemployed or unemployed –so don’t lie. In addition to claiming that you have a job when you don’t, please don’t lie about how much you make because you will be found out. There is no reason to tell someone you are rolling in dough when you roll mop buckets across the floor as a custodian at the local junior high for a decent wage. Keep it real.


There’s no need to worry if you tell a lie about knowing how to freestyle or sew. After all, there’s a slim chance that your honey will approach you to spit a verse or sew up the holes in his socks. But, if you lie about your ability to drive or your ability to cook, once again, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll be found out. Some things are not worth the charade that will ensue if you decide to perpetuate that lie. Yes, men love women who can cook, but it’s perfectly acceptable if you don’t know how to do gender-typical roles. That’s what takeout is for, after all. Just be upfront so he can decide how he feels about it.

Pet Peeves

It’s more than usual for your new lover to have a few habits that irk you, after all, that’s natural. But, ”honest to God, it makes my head hurt, and it makes my skin crawl” pet peeves should be identified and discussed. You shouldn’t have to deal with your new significant other spitting in your kitchen sink, if you think it’s the most disgusting thing in the world while you smile in his face like it’s okay. And, he shouldn’t have to lie and tell you that it’s cute when your cat or dog is in the room while you “do it,” especially when he finds it to be disturbing. Find a nice way to be honest about what’s driving you up the wall.

Sexual History

Whether you were giving it up to everyone in your hometown or you didn’t lose your “v-card” until you were in your late 20s, you should disclose this info to your significant other (not the specific numbers, but if they ask about your history, be straightforward). You should also be open and honest when it comes to your orientation or even attraction. There’s no shame in being a sexual person, being “prudish,” or having a diverse sexual palate, unless you hide it and make it seem like there is.

Marriage & Children

Heavy subjects like marriage and children seem to occur earlier and earlier in newer relationships the older that you get, and it’s important to answer those questions with strict honesty. If you know that you never intend to have little ones, or you’re been planning your dream wedding ever since you saw Topanga and Cory wed on Boy Meets World, that’s something that you ought to disclose. This is especially important if you think the two of you are getting serious, or you can imagine a real future between the two of you.


Do you agree? Should anything be added or removed?

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