To say Katt Williams has had a rough couple of weeks would be an understatement. There’s a lot of speculation as to why he continues to get in trouble with the law, but we here at the Word Eye Heard think it simply comes down to this: he’s angry. So….
Top 5 Reasons Katt Williams Keeps Getting Arrested
5. He Has a “Little Person” Complex
You ever walk past a chihuahua and it starts barking, like it’s the biggest Great Dane or German Shepard that ever chased after a bone? Smaller animals seem to have to prove that they’re not hoe ass animals, and that you can still get these hands. Katt Williams seems to be suffering from the same disease. He allegedly had his bodyguard jumped because the bodyguard wouldn’t participate in criminal activity, like Katt asked him to. Oh oh oh…so Katt orders around his bodyguard, then has him beat up….? How tall is Katt….? Yup. Poodle ass.
4. He Can’t Afford Money for Perms Anymore
You remember those stand-up specials, where Katt Williams would be dressed like a rapper from Texas, circa 2001, but his hair would be LAID??? He would proudly shake his head from side to side and that beautiful mane would flow! Not even sweat could stop his greatness!
Well…if you’ve seen any of his 7,375 recent mugshots, you’ll know his once-beautiful black mane is now a salt-and-pepper brillo pad of regret and confusion.
Messing with lovely hair, is like messing with emotions. I would be angry too.
3. Kevin Hart Just KEEPS Winning
Whether you love him or hate him, Kevin Hart has been in more movies than your thot ass ex-girlfriend. And he shows no signs of slowing down any time soon. Imagine if your first role was the hilarious pimp, Money Mike, and everyone knew you were up next when it came to comedy. But then you started doing crazy things (that’ll be discussed in #1), and lost the respect, and the paycheck, of the Hollywood execs. Then…here comes Kevin Hart. Being all funny and extra and goofy…and people love it! Kevin Hart in a movie is like Steph Curry from half court; it’s a good look. Poor Katt Williams probably hates all people named Kevin. Kevin Love, Kevin Durant, Kevin Garnett…..sorry, it’s NBA season.
2. There Will NEVER be a Last Friday
We’re all waiting for it, but just like Dr. Dre and Detox, it’s just not gonna happen. You really think after helping write Straight Outta Compton, Ice Cube is worried about playing Craig in another Friday movie?? Chris Tucker wants $20 million, and he’s too fat and unfunny to get it. Ezel has been eating too many twinkies, so he can’t play NOBODY’S crackhead. And did I mention, Barbershop 3?? Maybe somewhere along the line, Katt realized that his big comeback just wasn’t gonna be as the animated pimp who owned that store that nobody shopped in, and it drove him over the edge. I can’t see that; not like anyone else is offering him any movie roles.
1. He Smokes Crack.
Do we really need to explain this one? Okay we will. Erratic behavior can be caused by a number of things, but when you age quickly, speak incoherently, and have more mugshots than headshots….the culprit might be a pipe with little rocks in it that take you on a trip.
It if looks like a crackhead, speaks like a crackhead, and gets arrested like a crackhead…..it’s not the weed.
In all seriousness, we hope Katt Williams gets some help. Or at least learn proper mugshot etiquette. DMX can help.