Trump Calls For UN Investigation Over Escalator Malfunction

UN-GENERAL ASSEMBLY-GENERAL DEBATE — Source: Xinhua News Agency / Getty

On Tuesday, President Donald Trump stood on stage at the United Nations General Assembly and told world leaders, “Your countries are going to hell.” He also essentially told them that they’ve done nothing but sit on their hind parts while he unilaterally solves all the wars in the world, that the entire continent of Europe is “in serious trouble,” and that its leaders “are doing nothing about it.”

However, there was a far greater insult perpetuated that day — one so egregious that the president of the United States has demanded that the Secretary General launch “an immediate investigation” in order to address this heinous act of sedaitousness and disrespect at the highest levels of disrespectivity…

Trump’s escalator broke, or whatever.

Actually, Trump appears to be accusing U.N. officials of orchestrating a “triple sabotage,” because the escalator “stopped on a dime” as he and First Lady Melania Trump were riding it — which a U.N. spokesperson previously explained happened after “a videographer from the U.S. delegation who ran ahead of him triggered the stop mechanism at the top of the escalator, according to the Associated Press — and because there were teleprompter and audio issues during his speech. (He wanted to be heard loud and clear while he told the leaders of the world they were as useless as a butthole where their elbow should be.)

“A REAL DISGRACE took place at the United Nations yesterday — Not one, not two, but three very sinister events!” Trump wrote in a lengthy and almost comically paranoid social media post. “First, the escalator going up to the Main Speaking Floor came to a screeching halt. It’s amazing that Melania and I didn’t fall forward onto the sharp edges of these steel steps, face first. It was only that we were each holding the handrail tightly or, it would have been a disaster.”

Look, if Trump is that afraid of falling forward after a sudden stop, he should probably stop standing at a 75-degree angle like that.

“This was absolutely sabotage,” Trump’s post continued, citing a London Times report that claimed U.N. staffers “joked about turning off the escalator,” as if that were proof of “sabotage,” even if true. “The people that did it should be arrested!”

Trump continued by pouting about how his teleprompter “didn’t work” and was “stone cold dark,” and that there were audio issues during his speech, which he made a point to claim — without any citations at all, as usual — “got great reviews.”

“This wasn’t a coincidence, this was triple sabotage at the U.N.,” Trump concluded. “They ought to be ashamed of themselves. I’m sending a copy of this letter to the Secretary General, and I demand an immediate investigation.”

Remember that time years ago when a Karen cop recorded herself crying in her car because a McDonald’s drive-thru worker asked her to wait in the parking lot for her order, and she assumed it was an anti-cop thing instead of something that can and does happen at literally any fast food restaurant in the world once it gets really busy? This is Trump’s version of that.

We already knew Trump and his administration of loyal idiots had correlation vs. causation all messed up when the president declared to the nation, “Don’t take Tylenol!” because of a causal link to autism that doesn’t provably exist. In this case, however, there’s not even a correlation, really. For everyone else in the world besides Trump, apparently, technical difficulties fall under the category of “sh*t happens.”

But Trump has spoken, and he has decided these minor and mundane inconveniences constitute a coup against him — just as he does when media outlets aren’t favorable towards him, when factual reports of Russian interference exist, when he’s successfully prosecuted for the felonies he has committed, and when free and fair elections don’t fall his way. And now right-wing media, his Cabinet members, and the rest of the MAGA world are following suit, as always.

Here’s Fox News’ Jesse Watters calling the technical malfunctions “an insurrection” and declaring that “what we need to do is either leave the U.N. or we need to bomb it.”

“[The U.N. headquarters] is in New York, though, right? Could be some fallout there. Maybe gas it?” Watters continued, as his co-hosts laughed at his quip about our government committing horrific acts of terrorism over a teleprompter glitch.

“Let’s not do that,” The Five co-host Dana Perino can be heard saying off-camera.

“Don’t gas it. Okay, but we need to destroy it. Maybe — can we demolish the building? Have everybody leave, and then we’ll demolish the building,” Watters said.

Bro — WTF is wrong with these people?

Trump and his MAGA minions have already jumped the shark a kagillion times over since the start of his second term — now they want to bomb the entire ocean of sharks because their messiah feels slighted...again.

Now, remind us again who the “snowflakes” are?

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Trump Calls For ‘Immediate Investigation’ Over UN Escalator Malfunction, Fox Host Wants To ‘Bomb’ The UN was originally published on newsone.com