Alright, Madames, it’s that time of the week for me to give you the love advice that you need from a man’s perspective.
Some women treat their men well, and that’s cool. Everything goes well; she’s loving him, he’s loving her and then one day–BOOM! Blat-tat-tah-tat! Kow! The relationship is over.
“But what did I do?” the woman wonders. I’ll tell you what ya did. You committed one of the seven deadly sins in the Book of Womanly Don’ts. They are sins a man can never forgive of a woman, and I’m going to share them with you.
1. Thou shall not bang a family member.
Your family is for life, so you have to see them all the time. So that conversation about how ol’ girl banged Cousin Tay-Tay will be a taboo family topic forever.
2. Thou shall not lie about being on your period and then ask for oral sex.
This is simply DISGUSTING!
3. Thou shall not queef during sex.
A misplaced queef … I could never forgive that. It destroys the mood.
4. Thou shall not hack into a brother’s email.
You’re being a SNOOP … it’s hard to build trust with a SNOOP.
5. Thou shall not call random numbers in yo man’s phone trying to find something.
Like I said, it’s hard for a man to forgive a snoop.
6. Thou shall not give out random STDs.
Ugh to YOU!
7. Thou shall not lie about pregnancy.
Trying to put a baby on a dude? I can’t forgive somebody for that.
And another thing I won’t forgive is if you don’t check out my new album “Airtight’s Revenge,” dropping September 14th via Plug Research. If you need more of my advice, I’ll give it to you. Just catch me on Facebook “Bilal Oliver Airtight” or on Twitter @Bilal_Oliver.