Infatuation is one of the illest feelings when a relationship is new. You can’t wait to see your new boo, get a call or a text, or a surprise lunch date. But then, after three months or so, you feel like, maybe, your dude is pulling away. They don’t call as much, so you call more. They don’t call back right away, so 30 minutes later you’re sending them a text wondering why they haven’t answered your calls. You show up at their door (even if they live a hour-and-a-half away) unannounced to treat them to breakfast. You question why they’re not answering the home phone, and drive by their crib to see if their car is there. All the while, you feel crazy and desperate, but you can’t stop.
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They are becoming your obsession, and the more you push, the more they will pull away. ”Most obsessive relationships don’t last. The partner of the obsessive love frequently becomes tired of [the other’s] overwhelming needs” says Monique Belton, PhD, co-author of The Essential Guide to Overcoming Obsessive Love.