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It’s a scientific fact that teenagers are annoying. But are they so annoying that you should throw urine at them? One 91-year-old man says: Yes. A whole bucket.

Albert Einsig, of York City, Penn., has had it up to here with you teens and your hootin’ and hollerin’:

Until recently, Albert Einsig was happy in his East Clark Avenue home. But lately, he says he’s been kept up all night by neighborhood teens hanging out on his porch. He put up sheets to stop them from peering in, but still they antagonize him.

The antagonism seems to be linked to the handicapped parking sign outside his house, though it’s not exactly clear why that bothers the teens so. What is clear: These teens are out of control. And what can a 91-year-old man do about harassment from teenage hoodlums? He can use the only weapon he has left to him: His own urine.

So that’s why, at his wits end, the 91-year-old dumped a bucket with urine in it on his porch and down to the sidewalk.

“Someone on the street out of all the people hollered ‘that’s a piss bucket!’ Then that word got spread around to all the people out there!” Einsig commented.

Neighbors called police and Einsig was cited. But he says it was all blown out of proportion.

That’s what he says. Neighbors have a different story:

Recently, Einsig became so fed up with local kids tormenting him, he tried to throw a bucket of urine on to one of them. It was first reported he just threw the urine on his steps, but [neighbor Jamie] Green says he tried to hit a child. Einsig justifies this by saying the kids harass him to the point where he can’t sleep and he’s tired of it.

[…]

But Green says it’s not the neighborhood kids that are banging on his door. She said it’s teenagers from other neighborhoods who think it’s funny because Einsig takes it out on the wrong kids.

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