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Have you ever been told by your friends or loved ones that you are unapproachable? Being unapproachable means that there is something about your appearance or demeanor that turns people off. What could potentially happen is if a man were to see you out and about, something about your appearance or behavior would turn him in the other direction.

To play devil’s advocate, if he sees something that he doesn’t like and that turns him away then maybe he’s not the one for you. If he can’t handle you before you even utter a word, then Lord knows he won’t be able to give you what you need in a relationship.

On the other hand, if this is a sentiment has been repeated to you more than once, twice even three times, then it’s something that deserves revisiting. What about a woman can make her unapproachable? Is it the way she walks, talks or dresses? Or is it the way that she carries herself? I think what makes a woman unapproachable is a mixture of all these things, but mostly it has to do with her attitude and how she carries herself. Everyone gives off vibes, and when your vibe is negative it can easily be sensed by others. I know I have seen women in the street that have instantly turned me off. Most of the time it was because they were mean muggin’ or just plain old unpleasant, nobody wants to be around that.

My friend and I were having a conversation about different reasons why she was single. She mentioned in her explanation that it was because, she comes off as intimidating to men. Once she said this, I instantly agreed, because in all honesty she is.  ( I have seen it happen first hand.) She is the kind of woman with a strong head on her shoulders who is not afraid to speak her mind. She is loud and boisterous and wants to be heard. You can tell that she knows who she is and she knows what she will and will not stand for. You can tell all of this within 5 minutes of meeting her. These qualities drew me to her as a friend, however when she mentioned that these same qualities  also intimidated men I completely understood. She is not the kind of woman you approach haphazardly. She is not mean or cruel, but she doesn’t put up with any funny business. While she was talking I couldn’t help but think, maybe if she was a little softer, more men would approach her. The reason why I was so quick to agree was because I knew that if I were a man I do not know if I would approach her. Knowing all of the great qualities that I see in her as a friend, are not necessarily evident when you meet her. She gives off a no-nonsense vibe, that may turn you off, if you are just trying to get to know someone.

She then went on to explain that at her age (she is 29) and this point in her life she does not want to settle. She is on the hunt for a husband. The question then becomes is it my place as her friend to tell her that if she wants someone to approach then she needs to lighten up?

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