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  1. What makes him feel needed. Some guys love to fix things while others don’t even own a hammer. Take time to figure out what makes him feel helpful and like his presence makes a positive impact in your life.
  2. What really helps him relax. Watching those Law & Order reruns may be your favorite thing to do after work, but don’t drag him into it. He needs to unwind too. Encourage him to do what he enjoys during the little downtime he has.
  3. How often he talks to his ex. Yes, they broke up six months ago, but it can be hard to completely let go. You have a right to know and to tell him if it bothers you. Of course it’s more complicated if they’ve had children together. Let him know you understand he needs to have some kind of relationship with her and you are supportive of him.
  4. Whether he’s a lefty or a righty. And I don’t mean which hand he writes with. It’s important to know where he stands on political issues that are important to you. For new loves, this can be a deal breaker, but it doesn’t have to be. Look at Mary Matalin and James Carville. For married couples, you will know what topics to avoid when you want a peaceful night.
  5. How to get him to open up. Men need to talk too — just not as much as we do. Work on getting him to share when he needs to, not when you want him to. He needs to know the conversation can be all about him sometimes.
  6. His turn-ons. Some women never make the first move, but guys love it when you do. If his ears are especially sensitive, why not nibble on them and let him know how desired he is.
  7. What really gets him down. Whether it’s when his favorite team loses or the anniversary of a parent’s death, you should know what makes your man sad. You can try to cheer him up or at least know you aren’t the reason he is acting so strangely.
  8. That he wants to be more helpful. It’s so easy to complain about all that they don’t do. But if they are trying to be more helpful, we should acknowledge that even if they do it wrong. Then find some nice way to show him how to do whatever it is better.
  9. His favorite sports team. I personally hate watching sports but my husband loves it. Really loves it. While it’s hard for me to sit through a game, he appreciates the fact I try to at least know when his favorite teams are in the finals. Once, I even surprised him with play-off tickets. That was 10 years ago and he still says it’s one of the best gifts he’s ever received.
  10. What truly hurts his feelings. And never bring it up.
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