#WordEyeHeard Presents Top 5 Companies Donald Sterling Should Own

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Disgraced L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling may be a billionaire, but is being very stubborn about selling the Clippers, even after audio of his very racist views were aired out.

He has been banned for life from the NBA, but he doesn’t want to throw in the towel. Nobody wants to see this man keep control of the Clippers, so we at the Word Eye Heard would like to offer him so suitable solutions.

#WordEyeHeard Presents: Top 5 Companies Donald Sterling Can Own Next

5. Tommy Hilfiger

Back in 1996, a nasty rumor came out that Tommy Hilfiger said:

If I knew that Blacks and Asians were going to wear my clothes, I would have never designed them.

Black people were outraged! Remember all the Tommy Hilfiger our urban youth wore?

Beautiful Aaliyah made every girl want to wear Hilfiger.

Destiny’s Child made everybody buy Hilfiger overalls. (I never had any and I’m pretty upset about it.)

And Snoop Doggy Dogg made it gangsta.

SNOOP.

So anywho. Hilfiger vehemently denied these claims, saying “I would never say that. And all my friends and family who know me and people who work with me and people who have grown up with me said that’s crazy.” (Complex)

He even went to the Black-Community-Representitive, Oprah Winfrey, to set the record straight:

But the damage had been done. Black people were outraged! We made your clothes cool, put money in your pockets, and you don’t want us to wear them??? THE NERVE!!

Hilfiger did everything he could to dispute the rumors. “We hired FBI agents, I did an investigation, I paid investigators lots of money to go out and investigate, and they traced it back to a college campus but couldn’t put their finger on it.” (Complex)

Whether or not the rumors were true, black people still get the side-eye when they attempt to purchase Tommy Hilfiger.

Donald Sterling could own this company, because racists love denying they hate the very people who made them rich.

I’m sure some of his best friends are black.

4. Timberland

Comedian Vince Morris does a great job explaining it.

He funny. Anywho…

There has long been a rumor that the tree on the Timerland boot represents the tree that the company’s ancestors hung slaves from. Nobody can find the origin of this rumor, but once the match is struck…the fire spreads.

Black people still wear Timberlands like they’re going out of style,

and therefore continue to fund the allegedly racist company with the lynching tree on it.

Donald Sterling said in reference to having black players on the Clippers: “I support them and give them food, and clothes, and cars, and houses. Who gives it to them? Does someone else give it to them?”

Donald Sterling could own this company, because he’s one leaked audio away from being a slave owner. Where is D’jango??

3. Cracker Barrel Restaurants

As if the name of the restaurant isn’t enticing enough for Mr. Sterling, the restaurant has been known for its racist under- (and over-) tones. There have been countless discrimination suits, but the company really struck racist gold when they supported Duck Dynasty star Phil Roberson. Dynasty, filmed in Louisiana, aired Roberson spewing anti-gay and racist views. There was so much outrage, A&E suspended the star.

Cracker Barrel, so proud of that country ass show, even responded by pulling all the Duck Dynasty memorabilia from their shelves.

You just knew that wouldn’t last.

Soon after removing the items, Cracker Barrel released a statement, saying “When we made the decision to remove and evaluate certain Duck Dynasty items, we offended many of our loyal customers,” and “We respect all individuals right to express their beliefs.” (PoliticusUSA)

At this rate, it won’t be long before Cracker Barrel is catering for KKK luncheons.

Donald Sterling could own this company, because the only thing racists love more than hating other races, is a good ole country meal.

2. Cristal Champagne

Jay-Z had a huge hand in popularizing Cristal in the Hip Hop community. But you know what happens when a racist finds out black people support their business:

They become disgusted.

In 2006, Cristal managing director Frederic Rouzaud said

(It’s) unwelcome attention. What can we do? We can’t forbid people from buying it. I’m sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business.

Oh no he didn’t!

LOL. Sorry. Anyway…

Jay-Z most certainly wasn’t going to support a company that frowned on Hip Hop, so he released a statement:

“It has come to my attention that the managing director of Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud views the ‘hip-hop culture’ as ‘unwelcome attention.’ I view his comments as racist and will no longer support any of his products through any of my various brands including The 40/40 Club nor in my personal life.” (sfgate)

Soon after, Jay-Z called for a boycott of the $300 champagne. (Regular ppl weren’t buying it anyway…it’s $300.)

Jay-Z’s official new favorite champagne then became the $457 Dom Perignon Rose.

Donald Sterling could own this company, because Jay-Z already told black people not to drink it. And regular people drink Rossi and Moscato, anyway.

1. FUBU

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: this company was started by 4 black men. But hear me out.

When FUBU hit the scene in 1992, it was finally white people’s turn to call someone else racist! The very word is an acronym for “For Us By Us.” If that doesn’t scream ‘segregation,’ I don’t know what does.

They might as well have put a FUBU jersey on a Malcolm X poster to advertise. And while the owners would contend that the name wasn’t racist, nobody was buying it. They claimed that growing up as inner-city kids, they thought only inner-city kids liked to wear Timbs and such. Not racism.” So the “us” stands for “inner city youth.” Right…

I’m pretty sure FUBU isn’t still around, not even in Walmart, so this is the perfect time for Donald Sterling to snatch it up and bring it back! I can see it now….

Bill O’Reilly as the spokesperson,