The Summer Sex Challenge is almost over…but not before we talk about the big O! Our expert, certified clinical sexologist, sex therapist, author, and speaker Dr. TaMara Griffin, has answers to all the questions you’ve always wanted to know—and some you didn’t even know you had—about how to have your best orgasm yet! All I’m sayin is…be prepared to have your mind blown!
I’ll be honest and tell you that my conversation with Dr. TaMara was quite an education! I guess I was just surprised to find how just how much I didn’t know about orgasms and the various phases that your body goes through during sex. And even if you happen to have more knowledge than me, I guarantee that you are still about to learn something new.
Here are 10 secrets to the best orgasm ever…
1. The sexual response cycle
Dr. TaMara says that the first step to having bigger and better orgasms is understanding the 4 phases your body goes through while you are having sex—the female sexual response cycle:
Excitement Phase—You start to become aroused through foreplay (kissing, touching, etc.) or visual stimulation (reading or watching something erotic). Your heart starts to race and blood starts to flow to the genital area.
Plateau Phase—This phase is right before the peak of sexual excitement. Your heart rate increases and you continue to build on the excitement. Depending on how focused you are and your position, it can peak and fall several times, causing you to be able to stay in this phase for a long time.
Orgasm Phase—You experience involuntary contraction of muscles. The blood that has built up in the genital area is dispersed back into the body causing you to feel a release.
Resolution Phase—Your body relaxes and returns to its normal state.
In addition to the above, men also experience a refractory phase. This is the recovery time that they need before blood will move back to the penis enabling them to sustain an erection. Depending on the man, it can last a few minutes to a few days.
2. There are different types of orgasms
Please tell me I’m not the only one that didn’t know that there was more than one type of orgasm?! I asked a few of my friends and most of them knew about at least 2 types. But Dr. Tamara named 7 different types. They are:
Clitoral Orgasm—What most women usually experience and the most powerful
G-spot Orgasm—Also very powerful and can cause female ejaculation, also known as “squirting”
Vaginal Orgasm—Can happen in unison with clitoral orgasm
Anal Orgasm—Achieved through anal stimulation
Sequential Orgasm—Several back-to-back orgasms within a brief period of time (as little as a few seconds)
Multiple Orgasms—More than one orgasm within a short period of time (perhaps a few minutes)
Full Body Orgasm—Usually achieved when practicing tantric sex
I did some research andshut the front door!This article that claims there are as many as 12 types! While I was perfectly happy having the one type I knew about, now I’m a woman on a mission:)
3. How to experience different types of orgasms
Now that you know that there is a list of different orgasms you might not have known about (you’re welcome!), what can you do to experience them? Just being aware that there are other types can increase your chances of having one (or several) of them.
TRY THIS: Dr. TaMara suggests you educate yourself about the different types of orgasms and what common feelings are associated with them. For example, if you have every felt like you were about to pee on yourself during sex, you might have been about to have a G-spot orgasm. Dr. TaMara explains, “You stop yourself from that type of orgasm because you thinks you’re about to urinate and who wants to urinate in bed?” And because you stop, you don’t get to totally experience it or feel that pleasure. Dr. TaMara also says you need to stay present in the moment. “The more present you are, the more you allow yourself to experience these different types of sensations, the more likely you are to have an orgasm.”
4. You can have an orgasm without even knowing it
You might have experienced several different orgasms on the list and not even have realized it! But how is that possible? Each type of orgasm can feel different. “A woman thinks once she has the clitoral orgasm that that’s it,” explains Dr. TaMara. “But prior to that, she might have experienced a G-spot orgasm which feels very different.” Dr. TaMara says that the key to being aware of your orgasm is understanding your body and the sex cycle referenced above. “It’s so important that a woman is in tune with her body and understands how she moves, ebbs, and flows throughout the sex cycle so when she knows that she’s feeling that tense sensation, she can pull back and switch to another type of stimulation,” says Dr. TaMara. “So that when she has that clitoral orgasm it’s really, really big.”
With a big heart and a personality to match, Simone Jones Tyner aims to inspire others to live with style, passion and purpose. On her blog, Her Life Inspired, she shares parenting advice as well as recipes, DIY ideas, fashion tips and a peek into her personal life. By day she runs a marketing and event planning company, TRUE, where her love of details and straight lines are put to good use. But her most important job is being a wife and mother to a precocious little girl, Journey. Check out her blog at www.herlifeinspired.com and follow her on twitter @herlifeinspired.