Is Shacking Working For You
Are you giving the milk and cow away for free? Is he enjoying the benefits of a wifey without actually wifing you? Do you have a ring on it? Or maybe no ring but you up in the morning cooking him breakfast, cleaning his clothes and taking care of his kids!?! You’ve been shacking up with your man or just being available to his every whim; and for his own selfish reason’s he’s doing whatever it takes to keep you around and keep enjoying the perks you provide in his life!
But wifey, you’re more than likely never going to get elevated to the title you’re waiting for of “Wife”.
It’s time to suck it up and get a clue! Maybe that was harsh, but sometimes we all need a slap in the face.
Do you have a friend who needs a reality check or is it you?
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Living Together Before Marriage
It is amazing how many Black men are unprepared for the adjustments and responsibilities of living with a woman, or as my grandmother used to say – “shacking up”. Whether those living arrangements are based on marriage, other significant relationships, or just two people deciding to split the bill, sharing space with the opposite sex can be both challenging and rewarding.
The number of unmarried couples living together has increased tremendously over the past few years, and this trend will likely continue for many more years. After all, living together before marriage helps couples better understand each other, and allows them to experience all of their compatibility issues before the real marriage happens, right?
Not necessarily.
Couples who live together before marriage often believe that things will be easier once they’re married since the intricate details about their mate have already been discovered. They know each other’s faults, weaknesses, joys, pains – and they surely know when the other is upset.
But marriage adds an extra dimension to the universe. It places the couple within a lifelong bond that each person should honor and cherish. Problems inevitably arise when one or both persons feel that the marriage isn’t living up to what they dreamed it would be.
Extensive research during the late 80s to mid 90s involving couples who lived together, strongly suggested that marriage preceded by cohabitation had a detrimental effect on married life. Marriages where couples lived together before signing the dotted line, had a greater risk of separation or divorce than marriages where the couple did not cohabitate before being legally attached.
You would think the opposite is true, but couples who live together prior to marriage may lack the motivation to continue dealing with the same issues they had before marriage. Women often believe that men will change their behaviors once married. Men naively think that their new wives will act like they did before marriage. Both are usually wrong.
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