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You may know Tanya Young Williams as the more ‘reserved’ and classy of the current LA Wives bunch but what some may not know is that she has seen quite a bit of drama off screen over the past few years. Her estranged former NBA husband Jayson Williams is currently serving a five-year sentence for the shooting death of his limousine driver Costas “Gus” Christofi and his DUI conviction which has taken a toll on their relationship. Attempting to move past her life with Jayson, Tanya hopes she can raise domestic violence awareness. She recently sat down with the Huffington Post and detailed her tumultuous relationship with Jayson as well as gave her thoughts on the other ladies of Basketball Wives and her overall thoughts on the show. Check out a few excerpts:

On Shaunie O’Neal

I really respect Shaunie having the courage to come out and pretty much speak against her own show, because I think she went into this with a vision. She knows what it’s like to live the life of a NBA wife. The beauty, the glamor, the upside — but she also knows the taxing part. So I think her vision was to go into this and give the viewer a really good inside look of what our lives were like. The show has veered off into a different path than what she anticipated. So yes, I do agree that a lot of what finally makes it to air are negative depictions of mostly women of color, and all the good stuff unfortunately gets left on the editing room floor. Until more people come out and say, “We want to see the total picture,” I think networks and production companies are going to feed into what the few people are saying they want instead of really understanding that there’s a broader audience out there who wants to see a balanced show. And I think that’s what Shaunie’s pushing for. That’s why she felt she needed to come out and say, “This is not what I anticipated, but for the most part, don’t hold me accountable for what other people are doing to my show.”

On Being Abused By Estranged Husband Jayson Williams

Yes, I’m still married. I filed for divorce two years ago, and we’ve been a part of the divorce court for two years. But when it comes to domestic violence, what I had put into my divorce decree was some of the situations that I experienced at the hands of Jayson. Primarily, yes, I did sleep with a knife under my bed because when Jayson drank too much, or he took sleeping pills or any type of prescription medication, it would make him a different person; and because I have been threatened before, I had to protect myself and my children by any means necessary. I didn’t know who was walking into my bedroom: Was it the man that I fell in love with 20 years ago, or was it the Jayson who was being erratic and violent? I speak more openly when I do seminars with women about domestic violence. I’ve been through a lot of the things that they have been through, and I haven’t experienced everything that they’ve experienced. But when you feel powerless or you feel the need to protect yourself, you’re indeed the victim.

On If She’s Had Contact With Jayson While He’s Been in Jail

Jayson has done a lot of things that have been very hurtful to me over the years. However, I wish him nothing but the best, because I want him to be a great father to my children. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. And I am willing to give him a second chance to step into my children’s life and be an amazing father to them, because I married him expecting him to do that. So despite the fact that I’ve been through a lot — and he knows that I’ve been through a lot — I can’t allow that to stop me from providing my children with a man who I think can be an amazing father. He and I haven’t communicated since he has gone away, because once he was incarcerated unfortunately I found out more information [about him] that further punched me in the stomach, and it was very painful to me in a personal way.

On Rekindling a Romance With Jayson & Doing a Reality Show With Jayson

Honestly, I haven’t thought about that. I’m not in a place right now where my heart is open to Jayson in an intimate way. But I am open to him being an amazing father to my children. I want that. And that will cause us to be in each other’s company and to talk. Outside of the chaos, we have a great time together, and that’s something that probably won’t go away. But when it comes to a romantic perspective, I’m just not there right now. I’ve still got so many wounds that are deep and trying to heal. All I can do is pray that he comes out physiologically healthy, sober, emotionally healthy, and that he can step into my children’s life and be a dynamic man.

It’s funny that you asked about the reality show, because I’ve already been approached by production companies wanting to know if I would be open to doing a show with Jayson. And I haven’t had the time to take the meetings, I’ve got so many other things that are more in line with my goals and my vision. That’s where my focus is. But Jayson is a huge talent. He made mistakes and he can be crazy at times, but no one can take away his gift of gab, his wit and his personality. So I wasn’t surprised to get the calls. But at the end of the day, I’ve got to do things that are going to further my goals and aspirations before I jump into the reality world on that end.

On Relationship With The Other Women on the Show

I speak to Jackie quite a bit, but I don’t have anything against any of the young ladies. I think they will look back at their reaction to me and say, “Wait a minute, you know what? My reaction was very immature and not very intelligent because it was based on Tanya making the right decision.” So I look at them and say, “Hey, they’re nice people, they’re trying to grind and want to be on TV,” and I hope it works out for everyone involved.

During the first two weeks, everyone knows that there was a very big fight. And it was my decision not to be engaged in that in any way. And so the fallout of not being involved in the fight was that I was sort of ostracized by some of the women on camera and maybe the network and the producers. But I made the decision that was right for me. So whether they decide to include me in an episode or not, that’s not my call. I’ve done the work, they’ve got loads of footage on me. And the episode that they showed [last week], I believe that they were at a strip party. And I adore Jackie, but that’s not someplace that I would want to be. So if you see scenes or there’s things that are contrary to who I am or what I believe in, I don’t want to be a part of that. But if they go back and decide to run the footage that they have with me and the women, or me and my businesses, and things that are important to me, then yeah, you’ll see me again. It’s depending on what VH1 and the production company think the audience wants to see. But based on the feedback and all the love that I received from everyone, people want a balanced show. They want to be entertained, the drama is okay, but they also want to see someone who actually has a life, someone who’s raising her children, working with charities and running businesses. So I think there needs to be a balanced show. But whatever they decide, I’m good. I represented myself and I think a large percentage of women of color in a positive way and that allows me to sleep good at night.

Wow, that’s a lot to take in. It’s good that she had the opportunity to explain her side of things. Meanwhile, we can kind of figure that VH1 eventually removed her from the cast or she chose to leave after the big fight but what ever happened to Ron Artest’s wife Kimsha? Did she throw in the towel too?

Read more: Tanya Williams Talks Abusive Relationship With Jailed Husband & Basketball Wives LA Drama | Necole