It’s Cuffin’ Season people!!!
- No Country For Repeat Text Offenders – There should be a registry for those of you who insist on sending multiple texts without receiving a response. “They’ll respond when they get them” is not a valid reason to leave a dissertation in their inbox.
- Be consistent or risk getting your nuts chopped off – Let me tell you where most people run into trouble, they don’t know how to maintain their performance with text messages. If you typically reply to texts in a few minutes, but now it’s like midnight on a Saturday and you reply every few hours, something’s up. People peep when you’re with them if your phone is always in your hand, but when you’re not, you can’t reply to a text in a timely fashion.
- Ask how the person communicates up front – If the person you’re attempting to cuff does not like talking via text, you’ll have to adjust to the game. It’s best to ask this question explicitly. For some strange reason, not a lot of people will just come right out and tell you that they hate text messaging.
- Nobody checks Voicemail – Don’t leave voicemails. People only check voicemails when the box is full.
- Rehearse your “I’m busy” text message – A few of us, (mainly guys), get in trouble for ignoring text messages for hours when we’re simply just busy. However, “I’m busy” sounds rude. What I’ve learned is that a carefully constructed text message can go a long way. Try, “Hey, I can’t really text right now; let me hit you back later.”
- Don’t be that girl and don’t be that guy – Just because it hits you in the middle of the night, does not mean you have the right to text a guy your epiphany in the middle of the night. I think I speak for all those who’ve ever been awaken by text messages between the hours of “when I went to sleep for work tomorrow” and “when I was supposed to get up for work” when I say, that ish is NOT cool.
- Don’t say anything deep or important via text – You really shouldn’t be talking about your feelings or where things are going via text. If you’re in the middle of an argument, you shouldn’t do that via text, either. Important announcements and questions are out of order too; you don’t want to risk an undelivered text message containing pertinent information.
- One word replies are the cousins of death – You can reply, “OK” or “Ha” to a text with more than a sentence if you want, but don’t get mad when you wind up on the sh*t list.
- If they stop returning your texts, they probably want you to go away – Every woman has a story about a guy who texts her and she never responds, but he won’t stop texting. If someone won’t reply to your texts, like in a long time… it’s a sign, GO AWAY.
- Drunk texts can only be deleted off your phone, not theirs. Aspire for greatness, make each one legendary – Not a lot of people recommend drunk texting. To keep it 100, I really don’t think anyone should do it either… but if you must, be awesome. I typically have enough peace of mind to tell myself, “Jay, if Lindsay Lohan could see you right now, she’d be proud of you… which means stop drinking and put your phone away.” However, when I don’t, I go IINNN! I write my drunk texts at a minimum NC-17 rating, sometimes a high-end adult film. SOURCE
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