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Hoes be winning. We all know this. But Meek Mill also told us that it’s levels to this. To attain true championship status in this thing called “hoeing,” one must truly raise the bar and ho in ways never seen before. We’ve compiled the best for our list…

#WordEyeHeard Presents: Top 5 Hoes That Be Winning

5. Meagan Good

For the record: There is no evidence that Meagan Good is really a hoe, per se. But she does a great job of playing them in movies.

Meagan’s hoeing in film began earlier than Waist Deep,

way before Biker Boyz.

Oh no, little Meagan Good jumped off the porch into the world of whoredom early. Remember Eve’s Bayou? Don’t act like she wasn’t trying to give the butt to her daddy.

Though plenty of bad chicks with extraordinary bodies and mediocre acting skills have come along after Meagan, she always finds herself in a movie or tv show.

Meagan’s so good, at the BET Awards, she presented an award for a Gospel artist wearing THIS dress:

Lala is arguably badder than Meagan, and she was covered…

But hey, her hubby isn’t complaining.

Yes….her husband. The reverend. Or pastor. Whatever.

But DeVon Franklin doesn’t just deliver the good word on Sundays. During the week, he’s a Hollywood movie executive. You know what that means? He was fully aware of Meagan’s ho-isms and chose to wife her anyway.

This hoe is winning, because she found someone to turn her into a housewife.

4. Monyetta Shaw

You may not recognize her, but no doubt you know the man in her life.

Monyetta Shaw is the ex-fiancee and mother of singer NeYo’s two children.

Monyetta hails from Shreveport, Louisiana (hometown, wazzam!!!), so I kinda hate to do this to her.

Aw well.

The WordEyeHeard is, Monyetta spent her adulthood in Shreveport dating dudes with money and taking what she needed. Then she moved to Atlanta, appeared in some music videos (Lil Scrappy “No Problems” being one of them), then met NeYo and they’ve been rocking for the last 4 years.

She was even on NeYo’s episode of Behind the Music, proclaiming her love for her boo. The couple have two children together, Madilyn Grace and Mason Evan, but Monyetta is no stay-at-home mom. This heffa owns a boutique and a development company.

And even though she and NeYo didn’t work out,

I’m sure Monyetta is okay.

This hoe is winning, because though she lost the relationship battle, she won the child support war.

Shreveport, stand up!

3. Alejandra Jackson

You know you a hoe when you have children by two of Michael Jackson’s brothers. Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza dated Randy Jackson and had two children with Randy, Genevieve Jackson, and Randy Jackson Jr., then turned around and married Jermaine (he was the cute one back in the day) and had two kids with him! You know what they named those unfortunate children???

Jaffar and Jermajesty. Seriously.

Only a hoe would name their children Jaffar and Jermajesty.

If that’s not bad enough, when she went to divorce Jermaine, they discovered she was still married to Nicolas Ray, who she married to get her green card. So she wasn’t eligible for alimony from Jermaine…but like any good hoe, she made sure to have enough children to eat pretty well. She must’ve eaten that $80,000 instead of buying a house, because Ms. Katherine Jackson had to have her evicted from the Encino compound.

This hoe be winning, because it takes a special kind ho to have four children who are both cousins and half brothers and half sisters….AND still manage to collect checks from two of the Jackson children.

Jaffar and Jermajesty. SMH.

2. Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian started out as the rich daughter of OJ Simpson’s lawyer. But a sex tape with former boyfriend Ray J catapulted her into the prestigious world of being famous for being famous.

Next thing you know, her family has a reality tv show, she’s “dating” a bunch of famous people, has fragrances, a clothing line…..she used her vagina to her advantage!

From Reggie Bush to Miles Austin to Kris Humphries…Kim K seems to love her celebrity boyfriends (and husbands). But the world was shocked when she wound up with Kanye West. And I mean Kanye was sprung! He was putting her in songs, videos, taking her everywhere…he even made an appearance on “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”

Kim has clearly been around the block (“block” referring to men’s penises), but that apparently meant nothing to Kanye.

That’s so precious.

But nobody expected this to last for real. Kanye West would eventually get tired of her and move on, like he did with Amber Rose.

Welp. He put a baby in her.

I don’t know who told her to put that bed spread of a dress on.


Kim K and Kanye had little North West (yes, that’s her name) on June 15th, 2013. And rumors have spread that Kanye has proposed to Kim. No official confirmation of that though.

This ho is winning, because she turned a conscious, backpack rapper into a moist man who wears skirts, all through the power of her ran-through woman muscle.

1. Amber Rose

These two are weirdos.

Amber Rose went from being a teenage stripper in Philadelphia, to a butt model, to arm candy, to….let’s start from the beginning.

We first learned of Amber “he told me not to speak ever” Rose when she started dating Kanye West.

She was definitely seen and not heard. But she was definitely seen though.

Anywho. She and Kanye broke up, he moved on to Kim Kardashian (see #2), and after sleeping with Reggie Bush, Amber eventually moved on to Wiz Khalifa.

Wiz was good for Amber, no? It was the first time we heard her talk,

The first time we heard her sing (and wished we didn’t),

And definitely the first time we saw her smile.

But Wiz Khalifa smokes a LOT of weed. Maybe he was high when he fell in love with Amber.

What does she do again….?

Oh that’s right, she makes babies.

Well….Kanye put a baby in Kim too. Both couples went through the entire pregnancy and birth with no real fireworks.

But….then Wiz made it real.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. A stripper-turned-butt-model-turned-mute dun caught a husband!

This ho WON, because she hopped off the pole in the club, onto the pole in Wiz’s pants, and turned it into a marriage! In 5 years when they divorce, she’s getting alimony AND child support.

High five!

via TheWordEyeHeard

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