Beyoncé‘s road to motherhood was not without its bumps, but they have taught her some valuable lessons.
In a January 2020 cover story for Elle magazine, the 38-year-old pop, hip-hop and R&B powerhouse gets candid about pregnancy losses she endured before she and husband JAY-Z welcomed daughter Blue Ivy in 2012, and how it affected the way she looks at her career and life trajectory.
“I began to search for deeper meaning when life began to teach me lessons I didn’t know I needed,” she answered a fan via Instagram, who asked if the singer was “disappointed not winning” more accolades for her album Lemonade and documentary Homecoming.
The latter was nominated for six Emmy Awards this year and won zero, while Lemonade lost out on album of the year at the 2017 Grammy Awards, to Adele‘s 25 — a turn of events that even Adele, 31, had something to say about.
“Success looks different to me now. I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift,” adds Beyoncé, who also debuts her new gender-neutral IVY PARK x Adidas collaboration line in Elle. “Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else.”