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Scenarios written by China Okasi

Responses written by Anthony Jerrod

Sisters, we should own up to our poor choices in men.

You wanna date thugs or chase after the fancy boys who are really jacked up inside and wind up jacking you up in the process of all that shady loving they’re offering. Then, after you’re all emotionally scarred and embittered by your ill-conceived excuses for men, you start getting blinded to the good dudes that do come your way afterwards! What gives? What are y’all going through? Come on! Take it from me, there is a time to NOT trust a man’s skanky behind, but there’s ALSO a time to let down your bags, like Erykah Badu said, and give a brotha some trust. Flip through the following scenarios as Anthony and I break it down so it can forever and consistently be broke*

Trust me!

China describes: Scenario 1 for the ladies.

You’ve been single forever. You meet this amazing, hot-butter specimen who seems like a winner. Your heart has been broken enough times, so you already know you’re going to play it cool and not rush into “I love you” on your third date. You’re a smart chocolate chip cookie, but should you carry that chip on your shoulder with every man?

Anthony responds: Some people are able to let go and to break forth from their hurtful past.  For others, forgiveness is fairly difficult and ultimately results in the proverbial “chip on the shoulder.”  To carry this “chip on the shoulder” with every man can prove detrimental not only to your health but also can potentially turn a very good man away who could be a very good husband, friend, lover and father.  The past is the past, you are in the present.

China: Right. So…how do you know when to trust the “new” potential boo?

Anthony: Trust is established over a period of time, and communication and actions are the keys to building trust.  Really examine your potential boo so that you can understand him.  Trust cannot be built if you do not understand a person.  At face value, this hot-butter specimen may be able to put on a good show for a certain period of time.  However, if he is not genuine, then his flaws will eventually show.  On the whole, keep learning about your potential boo and observe how he consistently treats others.  When you feel comfortable in your inner being through careful analysis and observation, then you should be able to safely open the doors of trust.

China describes: Scenario 2 for the ladies.

He sliced your heart when you needed him most. He’s a dog. He’s a punk. He’s a jerk. But, in your calmer moments, he’s semi-human. He doesn’t seem to hurt everyone. He just seems to have uniquely traumatized you. Years pass by and you see him on the street. He just wants acknowledgment and he insists he is sorry. Do you trust or bust his a**?

Anthony responds: As a person that is hopefully aspiring to live an abundant life of love, peace and joy, it is okay to acknowledge this past lover and to accept his apology.  Again, forgiveness not only releases your soul and spirit but also helps you to let go of those who have hurt you in the past.  Should you trust this man?  Absolutely not!  Do you bust his a**?  If he does not put his hands on you or act in an intrusive or violent manner, then just speak, accept his apology and keep it moving.

China: Fine. No violence. Next!

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