Ay, don’t act surprised with this question! Some people really don’t know if their boo is worthy of a gift this Holiday…
Here’s a little help!
Source | SingleBlackMale
1) If you are committed, this is a no-brainer
It doesn’t matter if you dated for 6 months or six minutes. When you decide to be exclusive with someone and present them with a title, it’s almost a given that you would spend holidays exchanging gifts and enjoying each other’s time. With great titles come great responsibility, and you should treat the holidays accordingly. It shouldn’t be any pressure, but broaching the subject should be easier since the idea of gifts during the holidays will be in the back of both of your minds.
2) If you start dating within the holiday season, you are not obligated to get a gift
Starting to date someone during the holiday months (basically Oct-Dec) means that things are fresh. You aren’t exclusive but you enjoy each other’s company, go out, get physical, etc. During this time the holiday months come up and you feel anxiety over giving a gift. I say don’t in this case. It’s completely optional and you don’t even have to bring it up, especially if you two date others. You could always pull the high school maneuver and break up before Christmas and make up after New Years Day, but I wouldn’t recommend such actions.
You mentioned that you have been dating this gentleman for four months. So that would be outside of my timeline highlighted in rule #2. You also said that you don’t want to spoil him too soon. Well since you have been dating him for 120 days, I think you are comfortably out of the “too soon” zone. You know one another, and although you two aren’t committed, you have an idea of likes/dislikes, and you probably do nice things for each other. You took him out for his birthday recently and “a fun activity he’d mention interest in when we first met” [#DECODED: She did “that thing he likes”. Salute!!]. So why would you think that a gift during the holidays would constitutek spoiling him?
As men, we know that women naturally go all out for times of the year like the holiday season. Women emote more maturely and better than men most of the time, and know how to express their feelings via gestures such as gift giving. Maybe you wanted to blow his mind with a thoughtful gift and you’re unsure of whether you should do this for a dude that isn’t your man. That’s understandable. Also, if dude is in a financial bind, you don’t want to put the added pressure of impressing you with a gift.
I would say the gift exchange is a good idea. maybe set some ground rules on a price cap. At different jobs, we used to do White Elephant gift exchanging, which worked out dope. You really had to be creative within a budget constraint. That way, he won’t feel emasculated by your suggestion that he should cap his spending when it will be within the rules of your gift giving exercise. Plus it will be FUN! Worst case scenario: you just enjoy each other’s company and have an awesome dinner/date. You did it for his birthday. Dating/relationships don’t always have to be about pomp and circumstance.
Don’t stress this situation. Be conscious of your own feelings and his situation, and suggest the best course of action. The holidays is a time to chill with loved ones and enjoy company. Gifts are a bonus. Remember this, and you will be straight!
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