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A belief system. While many Blacks grow up practicing denominations that align with Christianity, there are also some who practice other religions or are just raised on the premise of spirituality. Either way, a black woman will want a man who shares a similar faith or is faithful to some religion/belief system because it will be the foundation of the family they want to build. It also ensures that the couple is rooted in the same values and morals.

Leadership. Statistically, black women pursue college degrees more than their male peers. This may mean women may potentially be more educated or even make more money than their spouse. But what really makes or breaks a relationship will be the ability for the man to respect his wife and to feel empowered to take the lead when appropriate. No matter the distribution of education or wealth in the relationship, his ability to take action and lead will be an asset.

Family values. Not everyone comes from the home with the white picket fence and married parents. Even if someone comes from a broken home, it doesn’t mean they don’t come from ‘a good family.’ What matters is that the person knows the value of family and those relationships and works to repair them when possible. Resolving any past mother and father issues helps men have successful, respectful marriages and emotionally healthy children of their own.

A social life. No woman wants a man who just sits around waiting on them. Black women want a man with a set of friends, maybe fraternity brothers or work buddies, and/or homeboys from back home. Having friends who you’ve kept for a while is another sign of stability, good character and dependability. It also gives another outlet outside of the relationship.

Social awareness. Does he know anything about what’s going on in the world? The community? Is he socially conscious and aware that Boko Haram has kidnapped Nigerian girls and that ISIS is beheading people? Basically, does he watch the news and can he carry on a conversation about current events, popular culture and things that affect our community? If not, he needs to spend some time with CNN.

Supportiveness. Whether the woman is going natural, up for a promotion or painting the dining room, having a man who is supportive is important in a world that often seems tough on women.

Ability to carry a conversation. You might think this goes without saying, but no — I can’t tell you how many girlfriends of mine dismiss men who can’t carry on conversations or intrigue them. This is where hobbies and life outside of work continues to help men win big.

Temperament. What woman doesn’t drive men up the walls every now and then? A man who doesn’t blow up and fights fair will still be masculine without losing his temper, forcing his will on the woman.

Romance and displays of love. While you can certainly “learn” romance, it’s  great to date (and eventually marry) a man who knows how to make a woman feel special. Even if your love languages are different, receiving love in some form is always welcome.

Spontaneity. Can we go away for the weekend? Can we make love somewhere besides our bed? The ability to do something new and fresh will inspire a woman to do the same and ensure things won’t get boring.

Willingness to please. Depending on the woman, sex can be a real deal-breaker. But then again, there are also women who will fall in love with a guy who doesn’t necessarily have what it takes to please them in the bedroom. What matters most is that the man is willing to try to please his woman. Effort goes a long way if a man has other strong attributes to make him a good husband.

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