Some of ya need to read this post ASAP. If you have been that guy or girl before who wished they could have undone that message. . .there is redemption! Maybe not with the last person you embarrassed yourself with but with the next potential for sure lol! These tips come from the Vice! Did they miss some pointers?
Direct messages (or DMs) are a fairly low-pressure way to take conversations over social media to a more private place. But just because it’s easy to initiate a private chat, doesn’t mean the interaction isn’t riddled with obstacles and pitfalls. Not only do you have to grab someone’s attention immediately, but you don’t want to offend or turn them off with an ill-received joke or aggressive behavior.
We talked to relationship therapists, sex experts, and love coaches and asked them to give us their best, most sensible advice about sliding into someone’s DMs: what to say, how to say it, and when to make a move. Here’s what they said. Answers have been edited for length and clarity.
Just like there is a subtext if you’re using Tinder (that you are most likely looking for something casual) and there is a subtext when you’re using Match (that you are looking for something serious, even marriage), if you are DMing someone, the subtext is usually in the Tinder category, i.e. you’re looking for something very casual. If that is not your intention, then you need to make that clear from the start if you want to have a positive interaction and avoid hurt feelings.
Just Do It, But Don’t Be Too Cool
People put far too much energy into thinking about what phrase to write, picture to send or video to share. There is no perfect DM so don’t bother trying to create one. The bottom line is that if someone is interested in you, they will be open to whatever you send.
You may think that it’s better not to show too much interest and to let DMs linger unanswered. You may think that you are creating some tension and mystery in the interaction, but really, all you are creating is anxiety. People don’t like not being responded to and they start to feel insecure.
Read up on how to Hold The Compliments — Don’t Be Boring and Taking The Conversation Offline ASAP [HERE].
Catch Ro inside The Day Party weekdays beginning at 3pm!