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It must suck growing up in the spotlight of your famous sibling, especially when you wish the one everyone was yelling for, was you. How does it feel to be famous for being related to someone more famous? We here at The Word Eye Heard did a little investigating into the subject to tap into the feelings of those overlooked brothers and sisters to really understand how they must feel. So….

The Word Eye Heard Presents: The Top 5 Side Siblings

5. Brandy

Brandy is a multi-platinum, award-winning singer, songwriter, and actress. She has sold millions and millions of records, had her own Barbie doll, tv show, and even starred in a movie alongside Whitney Houston.

But somewhere around 2007, “Brandy’s brother” Ray J begin to get a little more of the spotlight when a certain sex tape leaked. Ray J’s penis not only helped launch the career of Kim Kardashian, but boosted his music career with his song “Wait a Minute,” then his reality tv show “For the Love of Ray J.”

Ew.

All of a sudden, Brandy was “Ray J’s sister.” Coincidentally, it was around this time that we started noticing something very strange going on with Brandy’s hair and eyebrows…

But I guess we can’t be too mad; you get it from your mama. Her eyebrows look like pencil eraser marks.

When you’re rich, can’t you pay someone to do something better with your eyebrows than to have them look like boomerangs?? And I know women wear weaves now, but have you heard of a sew-in?? Girl if you don’t take this lace front off your head, get a relaxer, and take this foolishness off your head!

Brandy’s you’re Ray J’s side sibling because even though his Peter Weeter outshined your singing career, your lacefront wig and eyebrows are still starving for attention. I promise, if you just get a perm and a professional eyebrow wax, we’ll care about you again.

4. Charlie Murphy

Eddie Murphy’s brother was hilarious on Chappelle’s Show. Dave Chappelle really made a star out of him with those Rick James skits. Nobody even thought about Eddie; Charlie was really making a name for himself. You remember those hilarious episodes…

Yes, Charlie Murphy was WINNING!!! But then….he lost….

Charlie tried to capitalize off his fame and do some stand up. Well, he went to Grambling State University in Louisiana, and they were not pleased…

And ain’t got NO self-esteem; he was so mad they boo’d him, he gave his check back, told them “F*CK YOU,” dropped the mic, and walked off the stage!

Charlie Murphy, you are the side sibling because you are a MURPHY, and you should know that the only appropriate time to drop and mic and walk off stage is after singing Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” as the lead singer of Sexual Chocolate at the Black Awareness Rally!

 3. Kelly Rowland

Kelly’s the only other member of Destiny’s Child who was actually allowed to sing, so when the trio disbanded and everyone ventured into solo careers, the future was bright.

Now I liked her song and video “Stole,” but…..nobody else did. Don’t front; you definitely do not have that album.

Y’all so fake; don’t like that real ish, huh? LOL!

Meanwhile, Beyonce was scoring hit after hit, from “Crazy in Love” to “Deja Vu” to “Irreplaceable.”

Kelly came out with another album, and single “Like This,” but y’all still weren’t checking for her…

Y’all suck. That was a good album. So I heard.

Hell, even Letoya Luckett had a hot single! Poor Kelly…

But then…something incredible happened to Kelly Rowland: she got horny. When “Motivation” dropped, she finally found that hit she had been looking for! Even Lil Wayne was sober long enough to come up with a decent verse. We we so happy when we saw Kelly perform at the BET Awards; it was like our little sister had finally made it!

But…you’re still a side sibling.

Kelly, you’re Beyonce’s side sibling because you thought that just because you and Beyonce have the same daddy (y’all know damn well Matthew Knowles is her daddy…), that he would manage y’all the same?!? Heffa, you’re the illegitimate child, and you’re dark-skinned; have you seen Tina and Beyonce??

You saw what they did to Letoya and Latavia; you thought you were special?? You’re the side sibling because it took you 2 failed albums to realize you needed to fire Matthew Knowles and let that horny woman inside of you speak. I bet you ain’t too proud to beg now…

2. Toni Braxton

Where do I begin….

While Toni Braxton and her sisters found some success with the group Braxton, Toni was clearly the star throughout all of the 90′s, even scoring a gig in Vegas in the next decade.

But with Toni Braxton’s money woes and health situation, she needed some extra income. Enter “Braxton Family Values,” BFV for short. Now all the Braxton sisters got to get a little shine again.

The breakout star of the show was undoubtedly Tamar, with her catchphrases, annoying voice, and fat-yet-rich husband whom she tried to boss around.

Her entire story line basically revolves around her wanting her husband Vince (who manages Lady Gaga) to make her a star, trying to have a baby (probably to secure that money forever), and telling her sisters what to do to make their lives better.

But all that loud-mouth nonsense has paid off: the spin-off show “Tamar and Vince” will premiere on We TV this year.

And what has Toni been doing..? Sitting around allowing this bull to happen! Vince used to be Toni’s manager too, but she fired him. Maybe if you would’ve kept him around, you would have your own show too!

Seriously, do you really want to watch an entire season of THIS:

As Tamar would say, Toni you need to “have several seats” and “GET YO LIFE!”

Toni, you’re Tamar’s side sibling because you let decades of great music go to waste, and we’re left with this annoying, loud-mouth Latoya Jackon look-alike to fill the void of estrogen television??? Thanks a lot, Toni. Thanks.

They might be cousins.

1. Jermaine Jackson

Jermaine has been the sideline sibling his entire life. He was the original star of the “Jackson 4,” before Mike was added. And when Michael Jackson left the Jackson 5, he didn’t want Jackie to take his place, because Michael had always been on his left. You see, he was trying to remain his right hand man.

But Michael couldn’t be contained. I don’t have to tell you that Thriller is the highest-selling album of all time, or that Michael’s in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the most charitable person in the world.

And what has Jermaine done? Marry the same woman as Randy, have kids with her, owe her a bunch of child support, and never get a real job!

Aye man, Randy and Jermaine’s kids are brothers and cousins. Y’all nasty.

You could never be Mike; when he had kids, he did it the right way; he adopted 3 little white babies and claimed his sperm helped make them.

I love you Mike, but if those kids are black, R. Kelly likes women his age.

Hell, he was probably waiting on MJ to die, so he could FINALLY get some shine!

And shine did he! He announced to the world that MJ died, then grabbed every interview he possibly could to talk about Mike.  They even had a short-lived reality tv show after Mike died.

But you know why Jermaine Jackson is the ultimate side sibling?? He has no identity of his own, so he has to wait until people DIE before he can get any attention.

After Whitney died, he claimed they were lovers!

Even if y’all were, why you wait until she died to tarnish her memory?? Probably because you knew if you said it back in 2000, Bobby would’ve whooped your ass.

Jermaine, you’re nothing more than Joe Jackson with shoe polish on your head. You suck the life out of those around you, wait until they die, then reach for your claim to fame. Lookin like a California raisin…

Just face it; nobody’s liked you since the 70′s. All we want to know is what chemicals you put in your hair. Oh wait; what about your hair…?

I’m lilD, and that’s the Word Eye Heard. Let’s get them all some job applications.

via TheWordEyeHeard

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